Sad...

As I am sure many of you have read, a friend of mine lost her daughter to cancer this past year. Today she wrote something on her caringbridge site that I don't think I could have completely understood this time last year.
Michelle wrote,

"I need her. Now that I had her and knew her, I need her."

That really struck a cord in my heart.
I feel that way with Lily so strongly. When we were in the ER with her just a few weeks ago, Brandon and I sat outside her room after just giving the doctors permission to intubate her and thought, "oh my God, if she dies, I don't think I will be able to possibly have another child." I loved her so much already, and losing her was the worst possible thought for Brandon and I. I know some of you may be thinking how dramatic that may sound, but we didn't know what was going to happen. We didn't even know what was going on. In some ways, we still don't. We consider ourselves blessed that we even made it back home with our baby.

Tonight, When I read what Michelle wrote, I sympathized with her completely and had myself a good cry. I have just known Lily one month and I feel like I have known and loved her my whole life.
Everyday that feeling gets stronger.
Tonight, My thoughts and prayers are with Michelle and every parent who has ever lost a child. I just can't imagine...